We met online because of her posts about entering the convent, and I discovered that I would miss her writing very much and told her so. I find the life choice interesting, and so asked her a lot of questions about it. We ended up talking a lot. Our whole courtship was a combination of technology (email), and old style rituals of getting to know each other purely intellectually before we met physically.

We also had to make a choice soon, since she had been accepted into the convent, and it literally came down to counting the days.

It was an odd courtship because I felt I had to tell her everything about myself as honestly as I could, for better or worse, and she did the same for me. We had to know if this “relationship” was real, even before we met in person. We had to get past any false feelings, know the truth, and make an honest decision. We also had know in our hearts it was the right decision, whichever way it went.

We learned that we had led very similar lives, both had abusive childhoods, both had humor, and we are both nerds at heart (I gave her computer RAM instead of flowers on our second date, she gave me a nerd exam and expected me to score “high enough” but not to beat her), and a very similar philosophy on life. We had different words and stories from our life experiences, but understood each other deeply and quickly.

For a while, Jodith even thought I was “pushing her away” toward the convent. That was because I respected her long held desire to be there, and I wanted her to understand that it was important to me as well. It had to be respected, since both Jodith and I got to have our say, but the convent didn’t really get to have a say. I felt like it needed protecting as well, and was being overshadowed by our stack of emails. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the heat of the moment and it’s a time when mistakes can be made. We took it very seriously.

And today, the convent has special meaning to me because of the manner it existed in our relationship. I was driven to be brutally honest about myself and not to try to oversell myself. The convent brought out the best in me; my honesty and integrity and my humor, all the while also making me reveal my raw self.

At 5 years and 11 months, our relationship is very much the same as it was when we first started writing. But today I am healthier physically, mentally, and emotionally, and there is no doubt about who it was that did all that.

I love you, Honeybunny!
Mark

wendy’s last blog post..Something we can do to STOP GLOBAL WARMING

BTW, I’m not a sister. I was in the process of becoming a sister, but then I met my husband, and I found just where God was calling me *laughs*.

But I still love religious life and keep this site to help other women who are discerning.

in Christ,
Wendy =)

wendy’s last blog post..Something we can do to STOP GLOBAL WARMING